Keep the Spark Alive: 7 Tips for Married Couples to Maintain Emotional Intimacy

If you’re one of the 61.96 million married couples in the US, you’re lucky if you feel like you’ve found your soul mate. After all, there isn’t much that’s more important than spending your life with the person you love more than anything in the world.

Still, even in the happiest of marriages, it’s only natural that spouses begin to take one another for granted after a while. It’s understandable- between work, family, and adult responsibilities, life gets busy.

It’s important, however, to make time for your relationship. You’ve chosen to grow old with someone- that’s no small commitment!- but you need to make sure that you grow closer over the years, too. Read on for some tips for married couples to maintain emotional intimacy and have a lifetime of love, laughter, and bliss.

1. Make Time for Each Other

Despite the fact that life can get busy with a million things vying for your attention, it’s crucial that you set aside a specific time to spend with your spouse. Take them on a date at their favorite restaurant or spend a night in watching a movie. Treat this like an appointment- don’t let anything interrupt your date night.

Creating this time is all about setting intentions following through with plans. Don’t cancel. Nothing is more important during this time than the spouse that you so cherish.

2. Offer Words of Support and Affirmation

While some people need more verbal affirmation than others, everyone likes to be told something that makes them feel loved sometimes. Just a simple ‘I love you’ before bedtime works wonders at keeping your marriage open and emotionally intimate.

You can also get more creative with this, especially if you’re someone who struggles with verbally expressing affection. There are millions of ways to tell someone you love them without using those exact words. This is because there are so many sweet things to say to your spouse that there’s no excuse not to find a truthful one that will brighten up their day.

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3. Talk About Your Day

Talking about your day may sound like a given in a healthy marriage, but too many people don’t even spend enough time with their spouse to get the 411 on what’s up at work or how the relatives are doing. 

While having small-talk conversations is in no way enough for an emotionally intimate marriage, it’s a crucial part of opening up. You should want to know what’s going on in your spouse’s day-to-day life and be excited to share yours with them!

4. Share Intimate Secrets

In addition to the chats about how your days were, make sure that you discuss deeper things, too. What has your partner been dreaming of doing lately? What moral quandaries has your spouse been experiencing? How is your partner actually feeling about the events going on in their life?

Remember the conversations you had early in your relationship while you were still getting to know each other. You may know each other now, but there’s still so much to learn. Know that and ask questions that will help you know the inner depths of your loved one’s heart even better than ever before.

4. Use Physical Touch

Of course, emotional intimacy is often connected to physical intimacy. If your sex life is drying up, then it can lead to other issues in a relationship. Many people express their love through physical touch and will become touch-starved when deprived of either sexual or nonsexual touch.

If you want to have more sex with your spouse, there are ways to make it more fresh and exciting in the bedroom. A new position or toy can work wonders. Physical intimacy is nonsexual, too, though- make sure that you also take time to snuggle with your spouse and hold their hand.

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6. Love Your Inside Jokes

Another crucial part of any marriage is inside jokes. In fact, as marriages go on longer, many people find that having inside jokes is the primary way that they communicate with and express love to their partner. 

These inside jokes create an in-group consisting of only yourself and your spouse, making you feel closer to one another. Not only that, but you can communicate in the language of inside jokes when around other people, making you feel like you’re in your own little love bubble even when around others.

7. Be Each Other’s Best Friend

Above all, the best way to remain emotionally intimate in a marriage is to stay each other’s best friend over the course of a lifetime. While you need to have other close friends outside marriage, you’re doing it right if the face that you come home to at the end of a long day is the face of the best friend you’ve ever had.

Hang out with your spouse. Have late night chats and midnight snacks. Remember that marriage should feel like a nightly sleepover with the person you most love spending time with. It’s worth it.

More Tips for Married Couples

While any relationship takes work, it’s more than worth the effort. Having someone who knows you inside and out and loves you all the more for it is a beautiful thing.

Now that you know a few tips for married couples to have a fulfilling, emotionally intimate marriage, it’s time to get some more ideas of how to spice up your relationship. Check out the ‘healthy living’ tab on our home page for some ways to improve your lifestyle and benefit your marriage.

Good luck! We wish you a lifetime of happiness!