Nearly 88% of gay men are actively seeking other gay men to date. You, too, can meet gay men while you’re in the closet.
Around 70% of gay men have dated someone they met online. If you’re in the closet, the internet is the most convenient way for you to meet other gay men.
The closet is a dark and scary place. Don’t stay in there alone. Here are 5 ways you can meet other gay men:
1. Meet Gay Men Through Apps
Turn your cell phone into an instant love portal with gay dating apps.
Apps like Grindr focus on gay, bisexual, and transgender men.
Grindr is the most popular dating app for gay men. It’s also location-based. In order to use it, you must be okay with meeting people locally.
This app is mostly used for hookups rather than “serious relationships.”
Dating apps like Bristlr cater to specific types of men. Bristlr is the way to go if you’re weak in the knees for men with beards. If you have a thing for bears, GROWLr has your back.
If your concerned about your safety, post pictures that don’t feature your face. For instance, you can post a full body picture to give potential partners an idea of your body type.
Warning: Some apps won’t let you upload faceless pictures. Make sure the app you choose safeguards your anonymity.
If you don’t have access to a cell phone, you can still use the internet to meet other gay men:
2. Dating Sites
About 1 out of 5 relationships begin online, making dating sites more popular than ever. Researchers predict 70% of all people will have met their partners online by 2040.
You might think of dating sites as “something for straight people,” but that’s not true. Over 26% of gay men have used online dating sites at some point or another.
OkCupid is friendly towards the LGBTQIA community. You set your sexual orientation on your profile and the site will only hook you up with your preferred gender. Plus, it’s free.
Adam4Adam is a dating site geared towards gay men. The site is primarily used to find sex partners, but it still works for finding relationships. You can filter profiles by age, race, weight, sexual position, and relationship status.
If you’re polyamorous, Adam4Adam takes you into account by letting you look for a third partner.
If Adam4Adam is too sexually charged for you, try GayFriendFinder. This dating site is free to join and has unlimited characters for your biography. This gives you an opportunity to explain your situation to potential partners.
Users can also coordinate events on GayFriendFinder like gay game nights or queer book club meetings. This is a good option if you want to know how to meet guys without having sex.
Once again: If your safety depends on it, conceal your identity online. You can show your face pictures to dating site users you like and trust later on in the meeting process.
I know what you’re thinking.
“Facebook?! Why would I use that if I’m in the closet?”
Please hear me out. Facebook is very useful for making connections with gay men.
On Facebook, there are tons of groups just for gay men. There are even groups for specific kinds of guys if you’re looking to meet them. If you like country boys or vegan men, you’re in luck: there are groups for both of them.
If you’re an exhibitionist, there are even groups where gay men share nudes. If you’re looking for a long-term relationship, you can make posts on Facebook and see who you connect with.
There are also general LGBTQIA groups where you can make connections and vent about being a gay man in the closet.
If your Facebook account has your legal name on it, you’re at risk for getting outed if you join a group. If another person you know joins a certain group, Facebook displays your name and picture on the group’s page.
If you want to avoid the risk of getting outed from the closet, create an alternative Facebook account strictly for gay purposes. You can upload faceless photos and fun memes that reflect your personality.
Facebook isn’t the only social media app you can use to find gay men:
There’s an entire universe of gay men on Twitter waiting for you to discover them.
“But how much of a connection can I make with someone if I can only type 140 characters?”
Correction: Twitter now allows users to use 280 characters in status updates.
Unlike other social media platforms, Twitter doesn’t have face recognition technology. Create a discrete Twitter profile with a faceless picture as your icon. From there, post more pictures of yourself with accompanying descriptions.
You can include a small biography that tells people who you are and who you’re looking to meet.
You can tweet about almost anything, which will give other gay men an idea of what you’re like. Be sure to use trending gay hashtags like #QueersAroundTheWorld, #GayMen, or #BornThisWay to attract gay men’s attention.
Do all of these options sound too “vanilla” for you? This next site might be what you’re looking for:
Fetlife is like Facebook for the fetish/BDSM community. If you’ve got some kinks you want to share with a partner, this community welcomes you with open arms.
No, you don’t need to include a face picture, but you will need a valid cell phone number to register your account with.
There are plenty of groups on Fetlife that cater to gay men. These groups can either be used for finding hookups or relationships.
This site allows you to search for users who have the same kinks as you. You can also find someone to give you a gay male massage.
As a social networking site, you can make friends, find partners, and talk with others on Fetlife. Use your profile section to tell others about how you’re in the closet, but would still like to meet other gay men.
If a user threatens or harasses you, the Fetlife staff is known for listening to users’ experiences and taking action.
There’s Still Hope
Around 5% of all American men are gay, but many of them aren’t out of the closet. You can still meet gay men while in the closet.
Discover more life hacks. You’ll be shocked by how much of a difference they can make.