Breakups are hard. Breakups after you’ve been in a relationship for several years (or, heck, decades) are much more difficult.
So, how do you start dating after a long term relationship ends when you’ve been out of the dating scene for so long? Keep reading for tips on how to date again.
If You’re the One Choosing to Break Up
You may be preemptively reading this blog today because you’re about to break up with your significant other. You may be interested in how to get out of a long term relationship when your heart is just not in it anymore.
If this is the case, be open and honest with your partner. Make sure you’ve chosen a time to break up where you can both talk about it openly. Don’t rush it.
Wait Until You’re Ready
One of the most common questions we hear, “How long after a long-term relationship should you wait to date?”
Depending on the length of your previous relationship, you may wish to jump right in post-breakup or take some time to soul search first.
If you feel excited about meeting new people and using what you’ve learned in your previous relationship to better future ones, you’re probably ready to start dating again.
If you are continually thinking about your ex-partner and are searching for revenge or ways to make them jealous, you should probably take a step back. You may think you’re ready to date again, but we suggest taking some time to focus on you instead.
If you’ve been in a relationship for any number of years, you may have lost sight of who you are as an individual. You should take time post-breakup to reconnect with yourself.
Depending on the circumstances of the breakup, you’ll probably want to give yourself time to grieve your relationship. Let yourself feel your feelings but don’t let them consume you.
When you’re in a relationship, everything is about working as a team and selflessness. Post-breakup, allow yourself to do things that feel selfish. Try new activities you weren’t able to get into while you were in a relationship. Go on a solo trip somewhere. Learn to enjoy your life again as a single person.
Don’t Be Afraid to Put Yourself out There
If you were in your previous relationship for many years, chances are the entire dating game has changed. Previously you may have met possible suitors in coffee shops or at the gym. In this modern and ever-connected world, 40% of heterosexual and 65% of same-sex couples meet online.
Online dating is a very effective way to meet new people you may not have had contact with otherwise. There are different websites you can use to meet people who are in the same stage of life or have the same interests as you.
If you’re a Christian, there are sites specifically for Christian singles. If you’re looking for someone whose into traveling as much as you, there are sites for that. If you’re looking for a mature dating website, there are options for you.
As tempting as it might be to try to figure out how to start a relationship over, try not to entertain these ideas. If you’re genuinely looking for ways to move past your breakup, you need to look at your relationship in a new way.
Think of it as a learning experience. Allow yourself to process both your emotions and what happened, but don’t dwell on either.
Get Back Dating After a Long Term Relationship
Now that you have some tips on how to start dating again, it’s time to put yourself out there. It’s okay to be nervous about setting foot in territory that’s been uncharted for some time. Dating after a long term relationship ends can be daunting but know that, with time, it will get easier.
If you’re looking for more similar blogs to read, be sure to check out our Relationship Advice section.